Como hacer enojar a la gente
Mayo 12, 2008 at 3:33 pm (lista, vida) (enojar, gente, lista, molestar)
e traducido y potabilizado una pequeña lista de items para hacer que la gente se enoje con uno, y mas que nada para moletar. Debo advertir que practicar cualquiera de estas cosas lleva su riesgo y bajo ningún motivo se recomienda intentarlas. Aqui les va:
1. Deja la fotocopiadora del trabajo seteada para reducción del 200%, extra negro, tamaño cartulina, 99 copias.
2. En el campo memo de todos tus cheques pon: por ser tan buen amante.
3. En el auto-mac especifica que tu orden es “para llevar”.
4. Si tienes un ojo de vidrio, golpea en el con la lapicera cuando hables con otros.
5. Pide pequeños paquetes de ketchup y luego saltales arriba con fuerzas.
6. Deja los limpiaparabrisas de tu auto prendidos en todo tipo de clima: “para que estén a punto”.
7. Responde a todo lo que te digan diciendo: eso es lo que tu piensas.
8. Practica hacer sonidos de modem y de fax.
9. Resalta información cientifica irrelevante en mail y mandale una copia carbón a tu jefe.
10. Nunca aceites la silla de tu trabajo, y cuando todo el mundo esté concentrado amacate lentamente para obtener es sonido de puerta abriendose.
11. Termina todas tus frases diciendo: “de acuerdo con la profesía”.
12. Avisa que la conversación termino tapandote las orejas, y poniendo cara de mucho ruido.
13. Llama a un compañero de trabajo o hazle una pregunta insistentemente y cuando te preste atención date vuelta y observa tu monitor ignorandole.
14. Di numeros aleatorios siempre que alguien esté contando algo.
15. Ajusta la tinta de la tv para que la gente se vea verde, e insiste en que a ti te gusta de esa manera.
16. Engrampa a la mitad algunas páginas de libros juntas y escribe tus propias reseñas en los margenes.
17. Practica publicamente cuan grave y largo puedes imitar el croar de las ranas.
18. Toca bocina y saluda a extraños.
19. Practica tus solos de guitarra con la boca y en la ofisina.
20. SIEMPRE ESCRIBE EN MAYUSCULAS
21. Sin ninguna razón en particular aplaude lo mas fuerte que puedas en espacios cerrados.
22. y nunca uses puntuación.
22. Compra conos naranjas de calle y desvia el trafico.
23. Repite esto con alguien unas 12 veces:
-Escuchas ese ruido?
-que ruido?
-No importa, ya no se escucha.
24. Tanto como sea posible da brincos en vez de caminar.
25. Interpreta la overtura de william tell pegandote en el cachete, y cuando estes por terminar frena y di “para, le erré” y empieza de nuevo.
26. Pregunta a las personas de que genero son.
27. Mientras haces presentaciones, mueve la cabeza hacia un lado como un periquito, y hacia adelante como un gallito.
28. Sientate en el frente de tu casa con un secador de pelo y apuntalo a los autos que pasen a ver si aminoran.
29. Trata de cantar con los artistas en la opera.
30. Ve a una lectura de poesía y pregunta por que cada poema no rima.
31. Pregunta a la gente preguntas obscuras. Garabatea sus respuestas en una libreta, Y di entre dientes algo acerca de perfiles psicológicos.
32. Cuando vallas por la calle, ocasionalmente mira hacia arriba como si hubiera algo y di “paaa”.
33. Siempre que puedas, pon recordatorios en los celulares de tus amigos diciendo: “eres un buen amigo” a las 4, 4:30, 5, y 6 de la mañana.
34. Cuando alguien llame a tu casa deja sonar el telefono y pretende ser la contestadora durante toda la llamada.
35. Cuando te llame alguien por telefono, dedica los primeros 3 mins de conversación a arreglar la linea por que “no se oye bien”.
36. Ocasionalmente grita por telefono y di que estás hablando normal “debe ser la linea”.
37. Analiza la letra de todas las canciones que escuches y siempre encuentrale alguna conotación comunista.
38. Deten a las personas cuando te estén contando algo para corregirles pequeños errores gramaticales o malas pronunciaciones de palabras.
39. También sus muletillas.
40. Siempre espera 4 seg. antes de contestar cualquier pregunta que te hagan.
41. Dile a alguien que tiene algo en la cara, y ve que tanto puedes hacer que se lo trate de sacar.
42. Eventualmente ofresete para sacarlo, humedese tu dedo con saliva y pasaselo por la frente.
Ahora si se animan agreguen algunos items ustedes. Tengo fe en algunos de ustedes para que usen la inventiva, pero recuerden, si se zarpan les edito el comentario.
Leo
juab dijo:
Diciembre 5, 2008 a 11:10 pm
no sta super me cae de madre, pense que era yo pero soy supr cae mal no se te a ocurrido decirles no se por ejemplo, como voy a comer contigo si apenas y aguanto platicar contigo o tambien puedes por ejemplio decir, oye amiga tienes abajo el cierre de tu falda o tu pantalon eso las pone incomodas o por ejempli oye a las enfermeras oye se te noita tu ropa interior deberas uqe cochina eres, te unpoco de respeto por los demas o eruptar cuando estan comiendo en un aparada
o i gual decir muchas cosas cuando alla gente y vallas com otro y digas melleva la verga siempre esta lleno de gentge y nadie es tan amable de decir buenos dias burros y ya lo insultantes no lose se mucho de so pero ahorita no se me prende el foco
lucia dijo:
Diciembre 31, 2008 a 6:59 pm
hola! esta bueno todo esto y no esta mal joder a otros, total a uno le diverte. quisiera saber como lolestar a un hombre? gracias
ayelen dijo:
Enero 31, 2009 a 6:46 pm
hola me re encanto pero no se si acerlo espero que funcione con mi ermano es lo voy aser me super divierte aser jodas por que no tiene nada de malo esepto si bueno son medias sarpadas jajaj una ves mi profe estava en frente de toda la clase eramos mas de 90 eramos 98 y a mis amigas a las maestras y atodos les gustava entonces una ves me di cuenta que tenia el cierre vajo y llo le escrivi en una hoja que el lo tenia (el cierre vajo) y se los mande a todos jajajajaja bueno a despues le dijimos y se moria de la verguensa y ami me pusieron un acta bueno besos y chauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmm cuantas “u” no????????
ayelen dijo:
Enero 31, 2009 a 7:01 pm
hola soy nahuel el ermano de ayelen y qeria desir que busco una chika entre “9″ y”13″ años soy muy bueno y divertido bueno les dejo mi email y como aser enojar a alguien aa mi ermana le funciono la voy amatar jajajajaja nagu_lp@hotmail.com esto es para chikas no para gays si bueno chikas las espero chau
iugsbdofwanefuibfsdyfv iyasf dijo:
Agosto 18, 2009 a 8:31 pm
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Gracias por su atencion.